~headlock

WILKOMMEN

Friday, December 08, 2006

hum.

realisations part II

3) The people who laugh the loudest, are the poorest people.

Ok well, actually i didn't COME up with that. It's a known saying. But the meaning behind it is so damn true.

I mean just look around you. When you know of someone who is well-to-do, you say "damnn, i wish i could be as rich as him/her." But you may seem to have forgotten that happiness is more important than materialistic things.

Put yourselves in the shoes of a poor person. Poor people have jobs which are tedious, and yet the income is barely enough to make ends meet for them. Sometimes they even have stuck up snobs looking down on them just because they are poor. But don't you realise that they seem to be the happiest? Sure, they don't have luxurious things in their life, but more importantly, they DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE.

Rich people, on the other hand, are the kind of people society looks up to. Therefore they have to, or are expected to do more. And they have to shoulder MUCH more responsibilities than any other person with mediocre pay or poor people, for that matter. They may lead a more comfortable life and have a lot of money, but it is still in risk of being stolen by people anyway.

Which is why i don't get why people are so hung up about wanting to get rich. I mean seriously people, in case you didn't already notice, money is just pieces of paper which can be torn and burnt.

Why not look around yourselves and ask, is this really what i want? Coz one sad thing about life is that for instance, if you want something so badly and you get it, you realise it's not the best thing after all.

But on the other hand, if you want something so badly and you don't get it, you realise it's the best thing for you after all.

4)People these days have weird phrases to express certain things.

For example.

"Jane is a girl who has slept with many boys."

If you were young and innocent, you would think that Jane just prefers to sleep beside boys instead of the cuddly teddy bear you won at a funfair.

But if you were a teenager with raging hormones or an adult, you would either give the >=D look and say that Jane is 'naughty' or you would shake your head in despair and say that Jane has lost her virginity at a very young age.

The actual meaning to "sleep" with people, is to have sex with them and then sleep.

Now will someone please tell me, is this weird or weird.

I mean, I sleep with my teddybear and pillows and bolster everyday, that doesn't mean i have sex with each and everyone of them does it?

-__-

And another polite way of saying having sex is 'lovemaking'.

If you were young and innocent, you would think 'OOH LOVE MAKING, OOH LOVE HEARTS, LOVE HEARTS PINK, I LIKEEEE!"

But if you were a teenager with raging hormones or an adult who is 'experienced' [if you know what i mean.] you would once again have this reaction:

>=D

or this

:p [because for an adult who is 'experienced', they know what it feels like eh HEHOUHHEHAHAHHAAHEHOUE -_-]

5)People's behaviour which i find extremely intolerable, yet even I myself make the same mistake.

Okay. There's something bugging me about how people in general, react to confrontations.

When someone confronts you for instance, about what he/she doesn't like about you, you get angry with the person.

Because well, there are two types of critisisms.

1) CONSTRUCTIVE critisism: one that will encourage you to do better

2)DESTRUCTIVE critisism: one that belittles you and cause your self-esteem to be lower.

Sometimes, when someone confronts us about something, we tend to think it's destructive critisism. Only because those kinds of critisisms HURT.

I mean, obviously the truth or insults hurt. But you have to ask yourself the POINT of the someone confronting us.

I hate to say this, but let's take kapoor's 'the truth' post as an example.

The point of writing that post: To tell everyone their faults in a not-so-nice way, which is quite ok coz it was how she felt which was not-so-nice about everyone. Also and most importantly, kapoor did that to prevent herself from backstabbing anyone or gossiping anymore.

The first part of the point of kapoor writing that post was the hurtful part, and it was pretty retarded if you ask me coz kapoor SHOULD HAVE SAID IT IN A NICER WAY.

-____-"

But the second part of the point of kapoor writing that post was because she wanted to come clean with all of us, and i think we should give her credit for that. I think it will hurt like ten times more if someone does something behind my back, and puts up a front when with me, than what kapoor did, which was telling us in our faces and not behind our backs.

I just pray that woman is apologetic for what she did, because for some, it wasn't that easy to swallow what she said.

Anyway, back to my realisations. So when people confront us, first we get angry with them. I guess that's just human.

But the second step you take is divided into two parts which show how much strength of character one has.

You either

1) Be angry with the person who confronted you for a good reason for a long time, then bear a grudge against him/her. Then live in denial and refuse to accept the truth which is smacking-in-the-face obvious, or to put it simply, point the accusing finger at others instead of yourself. [which is damn loser-like, by the way.]

[pssh to people like my loser aunt who lives in denial: When you point your index finger at someone, there are still 4 fingers pointing back at you. And an understood rule of life is that majority wins. So are the people who confronted you wrong, or are YOU the wrong one who's living in denial? Ask yourself before blaming others,ktnx.]

or

2) You accept the reason WHY the person has confronted you in the first place, and look in the mirror and into yourself. Ask yourself WHICH part of you should improve. Then you start improving that part of you and everybody likes you and it's all yay and no one lives in denial :D

It's actually damn obvious which one of the two is the step you should take to show how much strength of character you have.

Of course, it is wise to know WHY the person has confronted you in the first place. If it's constructive critisism and is SAID NICELY [important for kapoor] , then yay to the person who confronted you.

If it's destructive critisism which leaves you demoralised and disheartened, then boo to the person who has confronted you. It is in cases like this where you should take step number 1 to the person who has confronted you. Minus the living in denial part of course, because you KNOW you're right.

oh oh wait.

How to know whether you're living in denial or not.

1) If someone says something about you that is negative, ask the people around you if they agree. And ask them for their HONEST opinions coz people usually take the easy way out by lying instead of just telling the truth.

2)Self-pity and not doing anything about why you're being miserable is a sign of living in denial. Of course,when you feel down, ask yourself what you can do to make yourself feel better.

[e.g efforts of nadiah to lose weight, from 2002-2006, some improvements but mostly getting worse because of nadiah's lack of discipline to control her chocolate intake. >_< ]

But if you're feeling down about things like someone's demise or something, then it's perfectly fine to feel down. I mean you obviously can't do anything about that, unless you consult a bomoh and bring the dead back to life just to say "i love you" before they become dead again. [which is an absolute NO-NO in Islam thank you very much.]

HOHOHOHO.

haha, anyway back to what i was saying.

In kapoor's example, it was a mix of constructive and destructive critisism. Constructive because, now i'm aware of what people dislike about me and i can try to change it [though kapoor, DO bare in mind that nobody's perfect including you.] and destructive because it was pretty harsh. But i got over it anyways. (:

So if you're an avid reader of my blog and have read this, i think i would consider it intolerable if i confront you about something and you bear a grudge against me. Unless i'm pms-ing and snap at you, it's not okay. :]

6)♥ "See life from another person's perspective before making judgements" - To Kill A Mockingbird ♥

That was ripped entirely out of shahirah's blog. I don't want to get rid of the heartshapes coz i think they're pretty :D

Anyway, yes. This is really important.

For example, i have a maid named Is.

Is is extremely sensitive and sometimes snaps at me and my brothers for no reason.

At other times she extra-ly tells my mother stuff we have been doing behind my mum's back such as playing the computer for very long and all that shit.

Your impression of Is now is that she's damn frigginly extra and deserves to be sent back to Indonesia.

But do you know the good things she has done for me and my family?

No.

Can you put yourself in her shoes and be thousands of kilometres away from your loved ones, cleaning cat poo and ironing clothes and serving three obnoxious children?

No.

I realised this only when my brothers and i talked to my mother about it. We told her that Is was always damn extra and scolding us for stupid reasons and irritating and all that, and my mother told us that we are being very mean and that we should appreciate all her hard work that she's put in to clean our pigstys [rooms] and without her none of us could survive.

Besides, it was my mother's amanah for her to tell my mother when we're misbehaving or disobeying my mother's rules.

So now, after looking at her life through an entirely different and not biased perspective, i have come to the conclusion that Is is actually an excellent maid whom we don't appreciate. Sure she's damn extra sometimes [ my grandmother told me off for something stupid one day and i was sulking and Is was echoing everything that my grandmother was saying to me jokingly and i shouted at her and she merajok-ed with me all the way until the next afternoon -_-] but like i said, nobody's perfect! Not me, not you, NO ONE. We all make mistakes and i guess THAT was Is's mistake.

7)♥ "It's never an insult to be called what somebody thinks is a bad name.It just shows you how poor that person is,it doesn't hurt you." ♥

Once again, from shahirah's blog. We're both doing 'to kill a mockingbird' for lit next year, and i am going to receive my school books only in 10 days' time, rawrrr. [tell you how i know later.]

So yeah. I guess the title of this realisation says it all huh.

For instance, you call me stupid.

And i'll tell you that if you WERE smart, you wouldn't have said that because that's an insult and everyone knows that people who insult other people for no rhyme of reason are blahdy losers :D

Even if you ARE literally smarter than me in terms of IQ, so? It only means that God gave you that intelligence for a reason, and that is to spread the word of Islam more than someone who doesn't have a high IQ and doesn't know anything about anything.

See how it works?

Anyway in my opinion, to insult other people is a LOW thing to do.

Low: lacking in dignity or elevation, as of thought or expression.

Therefore, people who do LOW things such as insulting, shall always be looked upon LOWLY.
People who do things that are LOW, are the 'poor' people in that quote.

So if you do something LOW, then it won't hurt me, it just shows how much of a disgusting human being YOU are.It might hurt me for a while [considering i'm sensitive] but in the end, we all know you were being the stupid one to go and insult other people.

-------------------------------

Okay okay stop. Enough realisations for one day. I've got more, but maybe i'll continue some other time.Anyway it's bloody 1am and i'm still awake. I have neither taken a shower nor have i written the things i 'm going to say during the 'frank talk' for tomorrow's npcc parade.

Yeah and i think you guys do realise i haven't been updating much. It's because the holidays are just so boring and uneventful that i don't have anything to blog about.hmmghh.

Oh and time is seriously annoying. I mean just look, it only seems like yesterday that we had our first day for holiday, and now what? THREE WEEKS LEFT? What gives??

Or maybe it's just ol' fat nadiah procrastinating and not doing things she's supposed to do. Bleargh.

Anyways, about the book list thing. Went to www.pacificbookstores.com and ordered my books online. A part of ordering gives you the date that they will deliver your book, and they left another blank with an asterick on it which i thought was OPTIONAL.

They were supposed to deliver my books on the 15th this month[my birthday!! :D], but i so intellectually put the date in the blank that was asterick-ed as the 18th of December coz i thought it was the optional date, and now they are going to send the books only on the 18th of December. Damn genius right. -_-

And about the frank talk, hmm. I'll tell you more about it tomorrow. It's late now and i gotta write that damn long 'speech' to deliver to my 'audience' and bathe and pray and sleep. Goodnight mortals. [:

twisting beside myself @5:25 PM

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