~headlock

WILKOMMEN

Sunday, December 10, 2006

This poem teaches a lesson. Start now.
It was early in the morning at four,
When death knocked upon a bedroom door,
Who is there? The sleeping one cried.
I'm Malkul Mawt(the angel of death),let me inside.
At once, the man began to shiver,
As one sweating in deadly fever,
He shouted to his sleeping wife,
Don't let him take away my life.
Please go away, O Angel of Death!
Leave me alone; I'm not ready yet.
My family on me depends,
Give me a chance, O please prepense!
The angel knocked again and again,
Friend! I'll take your life without a pain,
Tis your soul Allah requires,
I come not with my own desire.
Bewildered, the man began to cry,
O Angel I'm so afraid to die,
I'll give you gold and be your slave,
Don't send me to the unlit grave.
Let me in, O Friend! The Angel said,
Open the door; get up from your bed,
If you do not allow me in,
I will walk through it, like a Jinn.
The man held a gun in his right hand,
Ready to defy the Angel's stand.
I'll point my gun, towards your head,
You dare come in; I'll shoot you dead.
By now the Angel was in the room,
Saying, O Friend! Prepare for you doom.
Foolish man, Angels never die,
Put down your gun and do not sigh.
Why are you afraid! Tell me O man,
To die according to Allah's plan?
Come smile at me, do not be grim,
Be Happy to return to Him.
O Angel! I bow my head in shame,
I had no time to take Allah's Name.
From morning till dusk, I made my wealth,
Not even caring for my health.
Allah's command I never obeyed,
Nor five times a day I ever prayed.
A Ramadan came and a Ramadan went,
But no time had I to repent.
The Hajj was already FARD on me,
But I would not part with my money.
All charities I did ignore,
Taking usury(interest) more and more.
Sometimes I sipped my favorite wine,
With flirting women I sat to dine.
O Angel! I appeal to you,
Spare my life for a year or two.
The Laws of Quran I will obey,
I'll begin SALAT this very day.
My Fast and Hajj, I will complete,
And keep away from self-conceit.
I will refrain from usury,
And give all my wealth to charity,
Wine and wenches I will detest,
Allah's oneness I will attest.
We Angels do what Allah demands,
We cannot go against His commands.
Death is ordained for everyone,
Father, mother, daughter or son.
I'm afraid this moment is your last,
Now be reminded, of your past,
I do understand your fears,
But it is now too late for tears.
You lived in this world, two score and more,
Never did you, your people adore.
Your parents, you did not obey,
Hungry beggars, you turned away.
Your two ill-gotten, female offspring,
In nightclubs, for livelihood they sing.
Instead of making more Muslims,
You made your children non-Muslims.
You ignored the Mua'dhin Adhaan,
Nor did you read the Holy Quran.
they sing.
Breaking promises all your life,
Backbiting friends, and causing strife.
From hoarded goods, great profits you made,
And your poor workers, you underpaid.
Horses and cards were your leisure,
Moneymaking was your pleasure.
You ate vitamins and grew more fat,
With the very sick, you never sat.
A pint of blood you never gave,
Which could a little baby save?
O Human, you have done enough wrong,
You bought good properties for a song.
When the farmers appealed to you,
You did not have mercy, tis true.
Paradise for you? I cannot tell,
Undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.
There is no time for you to repent,
I'll take your soul for which I am sent.
The ending however, is very sad,
Eventually the man became mad
With a cry, he jumped out of bed,
And suddenly, he fell down dead.
O Reader! Take moral from here,
You never know, your end may be near
Change your living and make amends
For heaven, on your deeds depends.
If this poem inspires you,
It can help someone too.

Hmm. What a beautiful poem that can make someone who's not religious, change. :D

Anyway, this is dedicated to all the Muslims who read my blog. I hope you all get some meaning out of this, and that is to be a better Muslim while you still can before your time comes.

-------------------------------

Anyway, about the frank talk.

So, i already guessed that natasya and gang knew it was me. It was smacking-in-the-face obvious.

So after learning rifile drills and stuff, we sat down in one circle with maam bahiah and jasmine.

We started with natasya.

So natasya was saying some stuff about the person who was tagging siti's blog, and that was me. She was saying stuff like she didn't think it was fair that she had to break up with her friends just because of me and all that. Then maam bahiah asked her who she thought the person who tagged siti's blog was and she said me, [pssh i told maam bahiah the day before that i was the one] and then maam bahiah asked me if it was me and i said yes.

And farzean was being very cute, crying and laughing at the same time. I guess she was touched at what natasya said and all.

So the, fatimah, yi jun, farzean and maryam had nothing to say so it was my turn. I drank some water before saying what i had to say, then the maams decided we should move to the back of the classroom block because there were other seniors around the void deck and we had no privacy. But the area behind the classroom block was flooded with sunlight so we sat around the watercooler outside the sec 1 toilet instead.

So i began to talk.

Well, i didn't exactly cry on the first sentence but my voice was shaky, then after i said the first thing that made me feel hurt i started to sort-of hyperventilate and then i cried and then i couldn't talk and then maam bahiah passed me a packet of tissues and i was apologising to everyone for not being able to talk because of crying for no reason. -_-

talk about malu-fying please.

So then yeah,i told them all the stuff that i felt hurt about, and WHY i did what i did, which was to tag sarcastically and anonymously in both afifah and siti's blog.And i also confessed that i was the brown cow in afifah's blog, and that i have kept all this to myself since i was in sec 1. Most of the stuff was what i said in the cancelled part of the post below.[Yes, even the flirty and bitchy part. :O]

And i was like crying throughout the whole thing and after i made the brown cow confession afifah cried a lot and farzean was actually crying seriously now and natasya and asyikin looked very... solemn. Unfortunately Siti wasn't there because she's in Thailand.

So in the end i looked at all their faces and said i was sorry if i had ever offended them or because i was sarcastic and all, and that my intentions were good.Then after i was done talking [and still crying] i said,"ok, next" which made everyone laugh. ahah. whatever. -.-

Then ida told amirah about how she felt about amirah, and ida actually looked angry while amirah was half-crying and explaining to ida why she did those things she did. Then aisyah was crying too and said how she felt about some things.

Asyikin,Afifah&Syahirah didn't say anything, though. I was expecting afifah to tell me how SHE felt, but she didn't say anything. Weird.

Natasya on the other hand, told me she felt that it was unfair that i did that because when she tries to talk to me, i am reluctant to reply and all and therefore she feels hurt.

And i realise that is the case with me when my hati sudah tergores by people lah. Like at the start of the friendship i'm bouncy and yayiee and all that, but when i discover your bad side and all the stuff you do to hurt me, i'll distance myself from you as much as i can. Which is wrong, i mean i should try to tell you why i'm like that instead of being so evil and avoiding you right? This shall be part of my new years' resolution. (:

So in the end, i felt much better and more bonded at least. And no more grudges against my squadmates, which is very yay. Disrupting the peace, is bloody bullshit.

I'm not being ego, but i'm proud of myself for having the courage to confess all those stuff. Even though i said it while crying, i still did tell them my feelings in their faces right? Of course, it wouldn't have been possible without the moral support from maam bahiah and maam jasmine and all their cute jokes. And of course, God. But yeah i still did it anyway and i'm glad i came clean. :D

The only problem, however, was siti.She wasn't there because she wasn't back from Thailand yet. So i asked maam bahiah how i should go about telling her how i feel since she wasn't around to let me tell her my feelings. Then, m.Bahiah suggested i tell her during our squad gathering on the 14th of December.

I thought that was a good idea, but to my surprise today, i found a message from siti saying she was really sorry for what she did and all that. And i replied saying that i'm really sorry for what I did.

I guess i judged them too much before knowing the REAL them. They are actually really nice people. Tsk. Maybe i should practice what i preach, and that is not to be judgemental anymore. It's very difficult to NOT be judgemental altogether, but i should really get to know people better before deciding what i think of them.

So after the frank talk and getting dismissed, we went to eat at Videoworld and i'm so happy that we actually talked. Despite the fact that I said pretty shocking stuff during the frank talk. It's like when i was with them at Videoworld i realise how nice they all were. In their own ways. And it was the first time i was so happy with the people whom i initially disliked.

And get this: I was outside browsing through this magazine and they all were like," Eyy, where's nadiah?" and when i looked inside the room, ALL of them were starring at me.

I actually feel like i matter to some people. I'm very paranoid lah. I don't even feel like my family members care about me sometimes. Or my friends for that matter. But knowing that people feel your absence is good enough for me.

:D

So yayieee lolol i'm happy with my squadmates now. :D

One point that's already being settled. Now the second one, is my obesity.Because being obese affects your physical appearance, your fitness level, your SELF ESTEEM, and the way you look in your npcc uniform or school uniform. [i look disgusting in both.]

---------------------------------

Today i had a bad dream after waking up for the morning prayers and sleeping again.

Ok, so my uncle downloaded this new show in America called "Heroes"and burned it into a CD for me and my family to watch.

Yes, it obviously involves people with super powers but it's a freaking awesome show. I can't wait for it to come to Singapore so you can see how good it is. :D

So anyway, let me spoil the fun for you: There's this murderer in the show called 'Sylar', and he kills people with special powers and remove their brains so he can extract the part where there is a special power from it, and put it into himself. So he steals powers in other words.

So my bad dream was about me being a person with a super power. [not sure what though, haa.] Then Sylar was in my dream and he was this botak guy with huge O_O red eyes [though he didn't look ANYTHING like that on the show] and he was trying to kill me.

So my dad or mum was driving the car on this road, and it had loads of bends. Then i saw Sylar at this bend then when i turned around, he wasn't there. Then it happened a few more times. Then i was feeling freaking scared already.

Then i came home and he was in my room!! o_o And he was doing something with the world map [something to do with the show but very complicated to explain it here, so yeah] and then i asked him where he was from and he said Africa in this weird accent, and nothing like that happened in the show. >_<

Then i woke up to my mother saying that it was 10.45am already and that i should wake up. -__-

Then my eyes felt weird but i thought it was only because of the dream, but then when i went into the toilet and looked into the mirror, i looked like

NOT in a good way. I mean, look at her eyes. THEY'RE WEIRD! Check out her left eye. THAT was my right eye this morning.

It looked swollen, so i went downstairs and told my maid about it and showed her, and she said it was swollen so she put a towel of warm water on it.

Later my dad came home for a while and i showed him, and he said i had eye infection. So i freaked out coz i thought i would go blind, but he said i wouldn't so yay.

:D

He gave me eyedrops to apply 4 times a day. So far i've only taken it twice a day, heehaw.But my dad also told me that i had a pimple in my eyelid. Wth? How did it get there?

And we had to go to a relative's wedding just now and i didn't wear eyeliner or contact lenses because of this. wore eyeshadow, though. And i still have to wipe it off, or else my infection will just get worse. As it is, my whole right eyelid hurts now. So i have to go wipe of my makeup now, goodnight.

twisting beside myself @5:15 PM

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