Sunday, February 25, 2007
1. who is the most important to you?
As of now, i swear i don't know...
2. who was the last who sent you an sms and call you?
sms: feffe call:no one i can recall
3. are you good in your studies?
far from it my friend.especially this term.
4. can you speak chinese?
numbers 1-10 only.
5. who was the last who said 'i loveyou'?
no one in particular.
no one loves me ass hole.
6. who is the most annoying person you know?
...certain people who do nothing but tag along annoyingly like a leech and don't leave you in peace. some of you should know who.
7. what time is it now?
12 noon exactly.
8. who are you thinking of now?
nothing, nobody, whatever.
9. how many friends do you have on friendster?
200+? not sure.
10. who are you chatting with?
cousin.
11. are you in trouble?
more like deep shit. [report book]
12. have you been heartbroken before?
cwyawh. by certain people whom i thought were friends but i think i've come to accept the fact that friends do nothing but disappoint you in the end. haiz.
13. missing someone?
nah.
14. what day is today?
the dreaded day before a whole week starts again -__-
15. what do you hope for your birthday?
nothing much, thanks to the answer in number 12.
16. bored?
quite.
17. last channel you watched on tv?
don't rmb.
18. what time did you sleep last night?
11.20pm. pfft. so early and woke up so late.
19. do kids love you?
no, i intimidate them.
2o. do you make people laugh?
hahaha. yeah.
21. do you give away your secrets to anyone?
quite =/
22. ever smoked?
passive smoking.
23. ever drinked?
water<3
24. ever got drunked?
on caffeine,yes.
25. dumped someone?
whoever wants to ask me out is a crazy dodo bird with bad taste. so no and maybe never.
26. wat type of personality are u?
i don't know okayyy.
27. do you love getting msgs at friendster?
nope.
28. are you tired of love?
yeah. i hate it now.
29.are you angry at someone?
the whole world? still pms-ing la dhey.
3o.why?
pms.
31. what do you want to do now?
make myself feel better, help the less fortunate, get my big butt off the comp and do my homework and study.
32. what type of guy you hate most?
those you want you only for your body and not for you personality, SHALLOW BOYS [they're everywhere i tell ya] and many many more types. just refer to the list on the left okay.
33. who is the person you want to see now?
nobody.
34. do you believe in fate?
yes, but it doesn't believe in me.
35. in the last 24 hours, have you cried?
been a bitch yep. not cried.
36. laughed?
i think so.
37. felt sad?
HELL YESS
38. Are you hurt right now?
nah. pms-ed.
39. what do you want to do right now?
have someone to hug me go away
40. if you have a choice wat would you want be in your next life?
i don't believe in next lives, i believe in the AFTER life
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
01. Does ur name have an 'a'?
four in total
02. Two of your dominant feelings at the moment?
annoyed. irritated. angry. angsty. i can't choose any two.
03. What are you listening to right now?
The (After) Life of the Party- Fall Out Boy
04. Part of song lyric that's in your mind right now?
"I'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart"-The (After) Life of the Party- FOB
05. Describe where you are right now?
outside my room beside the piano next to the staircase
06. What is your best day of the week?
fri-sun, even though i never have time to study because everything's so rush.
07. What are you craving to have rightnow?
not to have a sense of hopelessness, and for someone to hug me right now go away
08. Best memory in childhood?
carefree-ness.
09. Worst memory in childhood?
being used by 'friends', nevermind it's too painful to recall.
10. What are your nicknames?
whatever lah go away.
11. Your three plans for tomorrow?
1.school 2.leadership training bullshit 3.tuition
and to collapse on my bed.
12. Your three plans for today?
1. try to be happy. 2. finish up my piano homework 3.and school homework and if possible, to study
13. Are you thinking of someone right now?
nobody.
14. Do you party?
nooooooooo.hate them.
15. Do you like twins?
quite. although i wouldn't want anyone to look like me.
16. Fill in the blank: I am __.
in need of a hug GO AWAY I HATE YOU
17. Say something to the person who made you mad?
i wouldn't want to say anything, it shows poorly of him/her and not me so yeah boo to them not me. but right now, i'm pissed of with a certain leech who doesn't want to leave me alone and tags along like nobody's business so i'd like to say
"PISS OFF!!!!!!!!!!"
to her but i shall be civilised and say that i need my own space next monday.
19. Mary has her little lamb. What do you have?
i don't know man, i don't know.
20. Say anything to whoever is reading your ans?
hmm. hi.
21. What do you drink?
waterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
22. Are you in love?
before i punch you, go away.
23. What kind of girl / boy do you like?
i love smart boys and i like girls who are nice.
25. What was the thing that made you pissed off?
PMS.
----------------------
You know.
I get sooo annoyed when i'm in a bad mood for no reason, i.e pms, and when i tell my family members to leave me alone they don't and then when they talk to me i snap back and they label me as 'giving attitude' but i clearly remember telling them to not disturb me, but they still did
and then i see signs of biasness because i couldn't even listen to my ipod in the car because of 'family talking and bonding' or what not, but most of the time it's just freaking muse on the radio and no talking whatsoever, but then when we went home yesterday from that place my freaking brothers could listen to their mp3s and i'm just a moody arse giving attitude
but i just remained stoic and didn't complain for everything i do is wrong
why can't you just get it into your head that when i'm moody, i'd just like to be left ALONE? DON'T EVEN FREAKING TALK TO ME OR WHATEVER, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE BECAUSE YOU WILL GET ANGRY AND I WILL GET ANGRY WHEN YOU TRY TO SPARK A CONVO WITH ME BECAUSE I'LL JUST SNAP BACK
but of course, i'm always the rude one giving attitude. you never understood me and probably never will
------------------------------------
this year started.
i broke the ice by jumping to another glacier, hopefully i'd feel warmer on this one because i felt really cold on the previous one.
however as the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side but that's not the case for me because here i'm dealing with glaciers not grass
then in this glacier i didn't even feel accepted. the other glacier which i jumped from is now much warmer than the current glacier i'm standing on.
in the end, i have no glaciers to save me from the freezing water of antarctica. i don't feel warm enough on both the glaciers.
then, another lonely glacier comes along and follows me around despite me trying to get it off my back. i didn't want to jump on it because it was cold not warm.
thus, i lost two glaciers, hate one of them and i'm just stuck now.
-----------------------------------------
don't get what i just said? whatever. it's a way i express my feelings.
i just hate everything about everything now.
twisting beside myself @11:57 AM
Saturday, February 24, 2007
hello.
yes, i'm finally updating for what seemed like a thousand years.
:D
but let's push those events away, shall we. let's concentrate on something else.
likeeee
you don't care about me do you.
PMS ALERT!YES, YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME.NOBODY EVER GIVES AS DAMN ABOUT EACH OTHER. THE WORLD DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN, DAMN IT.
YOU'D ALL WILLINGLY LEAVE ME IN A DRAIN IF IT WERE FLOODED LIKE THOSE JAKARTA PEOPLE. LIKE YOU EVEN
CARE ABOUT THOSE JAKARTA PEOPLE.
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THOSE OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO NEED HELP LIKE THE ISRAEL AND PALESTINE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN WAR BUT OBVIOUSLY THOSE RICH STUCK UP JERKS OUT THERE ARE SAYING," OOH THEY DON'T NEED MY HARD-EARNED MONEY. LET THEM FACE WAR, IT'S THEIR FREAKING PROBLEM"
FUCK THEM MAN!!!
AND OBVIOUSLY NOBODY COULD OR WOULD OR SHOULD CARE ABOUT ME, I'M SUCH AN UGLY BITCH WHOM BOYS WOULD VIEW AS 'FAT AND UGLY AND DARK' COZ OBVIOUSLY PALE-SKINNED STICK-INSECT-LOOKING GHOSTS ARE A BILLION OR MORE TIMES ATTRACTIVE
FUCKERS
AND EVERYBODY NEEDS LOVE, IT'S NOT LIKE GOD CREATED US WITHOUT FEELINGS COZ WE DO HAVE FEELINGS AND WE NEED LOVE IF NOT WE FEEL DEPRIVED RIGHT
I AM LOVED BY PEOPLE LIKE MY FAMILY BUT I DON'T FEEL IT. AND I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT FEEL LOVED AS IN 'THAT' KIND OF LOVE, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY LOOK MATTERS AND I OBVIOUSLY DO NOT EVEN QUALIFY AS AVERAGE-LOOKING BECAUSE I'M SUCH A FAT UGLY DARK BITCH WHO DOESN'T DESERVE LOVE
FUCKERS!!!
AND I HATE THOSE GANGSTERS WHO THINK THEY'RE SO COOL, LIKE WHAT THE HELL, YOU'RE JUST INSECURE THAT'S WHY YOU FREAKING NEED ATTENTION!!!!!!! MY TUTOR JUST TOLD ME THIS EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING TRUE STORY ABOUT HOW THIS INNOCENT CHINA BOY FROM THE SECONDARY SCHOOL THAT SHE TEACHES GOT BEATEN UP JUST BECAUSE HE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED THIS GANGSTER ASSHOLE DURING BASKETBALL, THEN GANGSTER ASHOLE [GA] TOLD CHINA BOY [CB] TO GO OUT OF SCHOOL FOR A 'TALK', AND CB BEING INNOCENT THOUGHT IT WAS A REAL TALK BUT APPARENTLY THERE WERE TWO OTHER GAs WAITING OUTSIDE, AND THEY BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HIM AND GUESS WHAT? GUESS FRIKING WHAT????? HE WAS WEARING SPECS AND THEY PUNCHED THE SPECS INTO HIS EYE AND THE GLASS FUCKING GOT STUCK ON HIS CORNEA AND HE BLED A HELL LOT AND HE IS NOW IN ICU. THE GA GOT EXPELLED AND HIS PARENTS HAVE TO PAY FOR CB'S HOSPITAL FEES AND I'M GLAD JUSTICE IS SERVED
I HOPE GA BURNS IN HELLLL!!!!!!!! DIE BITCH DIE AND BURN IN HELL, AND I HOPE YOU NEVER GET ACCEPTED INTO ANY SCHOOL AND GET JOBLESS YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND I WISH I COULD GOUGE
YOUR EYEBALL OUT AND SEE HOW IT FEELS EH? NOW THE CHINA BOY IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE BLIND THANKS TO YOU , CRAZY MF
ARGH
AND THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I'M PISSED ABOUT, PERHAPS I SHOULD RANT LATER
GOODBYE
twisting beside myself @9:28 PM
Thursday, February 22, 2007
well hullo, it seems years since i've updated even though it's only 17 days and you and i both know that it's 17 days but it seems like years.
-__-
anyway, i just want to update saying HOLD ON, LET ME GET MY FURKIN ACT TOGETHER AND MANAGE MY FURKIN TIME PROPERLY, AND MAYBE THEN I CAN UPDATE WITH A PEACEFUL MIND.
goodbye. Maybe i'm updating these weekends. Trust me, i've got a helllll lot of things to update about. Goodbye mortals.
twisting beside myself @12:08 AM
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Muse Concert cont'd.So where was I? oh yeah, starlight.
Starlight: "I just wanted to hold you in.."-
Then i forgot what happened, but after this one song they went inside and stupid Singaporeans, instead of cheering for them to give an encore, we just took that as them ending the concert and left. According to my mum, U2 had i think three or six encores. pffft.
So hurray, ended around 10 plus? I took a pic of the sign

Oh and i bought some merchandise

that's a belt, and my mom bought two shirts, and dad bought a cap i think.
and a poster too.

heh.
great concert it was. Recently my parents told my brother and i that we might [note the word, might] be going to the concert in malaysia. The only problem is that it's on the 25th of February, and that's a Sunday. So that means that if we are going, we'll have to go to KL and come back all by monday , which will probably be around 3-4am.-_- oh well, anything just to see muse again.
And i'm going to have to revise all their lyrics. It really feels nicer when you can sing with your favourite band. Like how i sang with the crowd at the GC concert, yep.You'll enjoy it much better rather than just stand there and here people singing and being jealous. Lol.
-----
Right now, still have to update about OBS. But maybe i'll do that later. Now i'm just really not in the mood.
Sec 3 life sucks. And it's only the first term. I have piles of work to do now, and a composition to write but i can't think of anything to write with that title. argh.
and i'm having a stupid head ache i got from npcc yesterday. All that lying down and standing up immediately caused me this stupid sort of headache that won't go away, despite the fact that i slept for about 9 hours today.
the kind of headache where you see stars all the time, for some weird reason.
andddd, my muscles ache too. shows how unfit i am huh. lol.
Am i really supposed to believe that playing the computer would cure my headache?
...
but whatever. Anyway i feel like updating.
Tag replies:
[i'm going to italisize it and not colour the tags now because i don't feel like it.]
28 Jan 07, 10:12Shasha: Whee!!CUz!! LOL.Like org giler.Hhaah.I received your letter already!!Like,thanks man!!but sadly,his face is gonna/already has glue on it.*sobs*-__________________-
28 Jan 07, 12:59feffe: HAHAHA THE VIDEO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO28 Jan 07, 12:59feffe: alamak you got a new crush now! hahaha! later you will keep on tembaming about matt bellamy28 Jan 07, 12:59feffe: and going "HEHEHE MATT. HEHEHE"28 Jan 07, 12:59feffe: TEMBAM YOU!!!! >=OYEAH THE VID CUTE KAN :D and hehehehe whaaat only 'tembaming about matt bellamy'. loll. he is kawte kaee
28 Jan 07, 17:19kapoor: i think the best way is too leave her alone. then she will confirm ramble like nobody's business and ppl think she giler.. but i think she got mental illness eh. she cant get over the past. AT LEAST,28 Jan 07, 17:19kapoor: depression. but who am i to jugde.. OOH.. a syaitan.. yeah, we are both syaitan man!!28 Jan 07, 17:19kapoor: i seriously hope she sedar diri.. like, the clock is ticking.Lol. I don't think she has a mental illness but some people just can't get over the past as quickly as others. And what depression?
Yes, i hope she sedar-diris too. Because 1 person hate her, it's okay but a hell lot of people hate her, it only means there's something wrong with her.
28 Jan 07, 20:57oRA-RAnge 0>=): hwowww check out the whole muse playlist mannn.haha.try imeem la.much neater. (:But they will play automatically instead of just like. If you click then can play you know. yeah. haha.
30 Jan 07, 20:41hanis: yes please!!!!!. i have the songs from the whole cd. but i just want plug in baby. wait i think ur on msn right now. hmm. haha30 Jan 07, 20:41hanis: i guess not. haiss. haha. come online ASAP!!30 Jan 07, 20:41hanis: pleeeeeeeeasHahahaha. It's okay, i'll send you the song through email!
31 Jan 07, 21:27HeQie: OMG!!! nade......e'o......by the way..jamban is so clogged up.......did u see kapoor's blog.....tagboard to be precise................ 31 Jan 07, 21:40HeQie: OMG!!! nade....i love that post the one below the lyrics31 Jan 07, 21:44HeQie: nade.....loves loves it......31 Jan 07, 21:45HeQie: anyway, shes got that pathetic mentality also coz of her mom....her momthinks her daughter is sooooo SUCI!!!!!!!! obviously that stupid LEMBU will naik muka........muahahahaha STUPID LEMBU!!!! muahaha31 Jan 07, 21:45HeQie: :Dlollll. Lembu is a cute word. And thanks! i like that post too and hopefully it will make her change. and i have to agree about the pathetic mentality thing. lembu hahahaha. cute.
31 Jan 07, 22:41nadia: u know sth nadia, i would NEVER WANT to treat you as my enemy..31 Jan 07, 22:42nadia: the reason why i dont want to read that letter was becos I KNOW I'M A WEAK PERSON. I ADMIT I CANT TAKE THINGS LIKE THIS. nad i was really hoping you could understand..31 Jan 07, 22:42nadia: *and31 Jan 07, 22:43nadia: and why i dont want both of us to talk becos i just knew that we could never agree together.. wat i ask for is only FORGIVENESS. i just wish for your willingness to forgive me and start anew...31 Jan 07, 22:44nadia: but u didnt want, u really wanted me to realise my mistakes.. NOBODY is perfect in this world.. me neither.. why cant u just accept my character?31 Jan 07, 22:45nadia: u know yi sze told me aft u confessed her ur feelings, she says that there'll be a weird tension wen u talk to her now.. i dont want that to happen to us. i just want us to be..31 Jan 07, 22:45nadia: best frens forever like good old times.. dont u miss that???31 Jan 07, 22:46nadia: i noe i said 'buang yg keruh ambil yg jernih' and u said no use cos theres still air yang keruh.. well, just throw it away.31 Jan 07, 22:47nadia: i know its hard for u to forget/throw away all my wrongdoings towards you.but i'm a human, i make mistakes.31 Jan 07, 22:49nadia: i just want to be ur fren again & be close like before. one more thing, I WAS NEVER F*UCKED UP WITH KAPOOR BECOS OF THAT POST.. i could accept that post.. but it was the confrontation tat madeit WORSE31 Jan 07, 22:51nadia: and pls tell ur best fren not to involve/drag other INNOCENT ppl like shahiylia & syafiqah into this thing.. shes just making it worse..31 Jan 07, 22:53nadia: aft tis, u're surely gonna hate me like crazy i guess. i'm just asking for ur forgiveness.. but if u still want to insist on me reading the letter and confront me all abt my bad character..31 Jan 07, 22:54nadia: i cant do anything but one thing for sure, i'm going to break down like shit in front of you..31 Jan 07, 22:55nadia: u always tell me not to be so emo abt all this and be brave to face tis. but the reality is, I AM WEAK, I AM EMOTIONAL, esp abt these things..kalau Allah da nak jadikan saya begini......31 Jan 07, 22:56nadia: [if GOD wants me to be like this, TAKKAN KITA NAK MELANGGAR QADA' DAN QADAR?]31 Jan 07, 22:56nadia: every human has different personalities, why cant u just accept that i'm like tis?31 Jan 07, 22:57nadia: wateva it is, i have faith that our frenship is not ruined yet.. we still can save it.31 Jan 07, 22:59nadia: lastly, i'm SORRY/menyusun 10 jari/memohon maaf atas semua kesilapan saya. just really praying that u still can accept me as ur fren,cosi still love u as my fren...31 Jan 07, 23:10nadia: honestly and i really mean it, i still LOVE YOU as my fren even tho u dislike my character.ok. here's the thing.
1)My name is nadiah with a 'h', in case you have forgotten.
2)I wanted you to realise your mistakes because i wanted you to change for the better. As a friend who cares for you i tried to do that, but you didn't want to coz like you said yourself, you're weak. You should have taken it as constructive critisism instead of destructive critisism like you always do. But you didn't, did you? And you blamed me for not wanting to give you the SIX PAGE LETTER that i wrote?? You said that i obviously didn't want to give it to you even though you didn't want it. Why the HECK would i not want to give you a six page letter? It's even longer than a composition and it took quite some time to write.
3) Of COURSE nobody's perfect. Not me, not you,not anybody except Prophet Muhammad [May peace be upon him]
But, God said we should try to be good to the best of our abilities didn't He? And one way to do that is to admit your mistakes and try to change. And when people tell your mistakes to you, you should accept it and try to change! But YOU on the other hand, dah lah tannak accept, then want to blame others for your own mistakes. Come on lah. Be real here. As the saying goes, the bitter pill is hard to swallow.
4) Excuse me, but when the heck did Yi Sze tell you that? It is true but when did she tell you that? She talked to YOU about ME? wow.
and i'm sorry to burst your bubble but you are not my best friend. I have no best friends. Everyone is my good friend or friend and that's it. You were my good friend, but look what happened. tsk. Yes i do miss it, i miss my friends when i fight with them. Especially those whom i consider very precious to me. But seeing your attitude flaws, i tried to change you but you didn't want to. So it's your loss, not mine.
5) What confrontation with kapoor?
6) Kapoor isn't my best friend. (refer to my paragraph in point 4)
But, she didn't drag innocent people in. Shahiylia told me something she disliked about you, and i don't know about syafiqah but shahiylia does. See what i mean?
7) Break down like shit in front of me? For what? Haven't the worst situations of this confrontation gone through your head? Or are you still living in lalaland where everything is all fun and games? Pls lar, the world isn't a nice place and the truth sucks and hurts.In this world where people get killed/raped/molested/kidnapped/God knows what else every single day, you think you're safe from your feelings being hurt? i doubt it. The truth hurts.
It's how you want to
handle it that's important. If it's destructive critisism (e.g
you're such a bitch) it's okay to hate the person, but if it's constructive critisism(e.g
i think you sometimes make false accusations of people and you should really change it.) then it's ok to handle, right? The point is, you have to THINK of our motive for doing these things. Like kapoor's post was to not gossip or bitch about us anymore,and my own reason for wanting to give you the letter is because i wanted you to change.
8) I don't think God made you sensitive. I just think that you should be less sensitive for the horrible world that we are living in now. The world isn't a nice place-it's FAR from a nice place. So have more thick skin and be more humble to accept the fact that you should change.
9) I can accept that you're sensitive actually, because i am myself. But the fact that you love to do hateful stuff, that just pisses the hell out of me ok. And the worst thing is that you call people syaitans when you're not exactly an angel yourself. Even vanessa and rachael who are christians know that calling people the devil is really one of the biggest insults ever.
And i hate it when you confront people on YOUR blog but when people want to confront YOU, you don't let/get scared. It really is very very vile of you.
10) One last thing. Based on a lot of people's bad experience with you, the only conclusion is that you only come to people to be their friend when you don't have many friends. A lot of people agree. So i don't know if you're apologising sincerely or because you're just desperate. I just feel that you don't make any sense.
Even if we become friends again, it won't be the same right? So i don't know what to do now. I guess you're nothing but an acquaintence now.I just hope that you do realise your mistakes because if you yourself don't want to sedar diri, nobody can.
1 Feb 07, 18:20kapoor: so pathetic.1 Feb 07, 18:21kapoor: anw, heeqmah, ur damn cute in saying 'lembu'! i mean, i didnt realise the word 'lembu' is soo cute!!!1 Feb 07, 18:21kapoor: ahahahahah, cant wait to go to tj!! i wanna brush my tennis skills and try for DSA1 Feb 07, 18:22kapoor: and nadiah, u showed the video like, alot of times on ur blog already!!1 Feb 07, 18:22kapoor: talk to u more on msnhaha wth is DSA? and it's only the second time i showed this vid lah. lol. I miss each and everyone of you in the video or the one who taped it. I just wish all of us had malay classes together again... so fun.
1 Feb 07, 21:36HeQie: eh guys....check if u guys can meet up next tuesday....nade if you want follow them....but ill have to confirm again....lol1 Feb 07, 21:36HeQie: oopppps....kapoor you're right....why suddenly someone's stooooping SOOO LOWW!!! YAYIEE I WANT TO IKOT =D=D=D but next week and the week after got loads of test.. argh. and don't be so bad lah, she just wants to admit her mistakes what. lol.
2 Feb 07, 19:28hanis: supercooool. hahahahawhat is supercool? lol. anyway i sent you the song already! hope you enjoy it.
------
Okay wth, i feel so bad. My dad just bought me a $100 simple phone because i told him mine was quite spoilt, but he didn't tell me that he bought it.
It has no camera, no video, or anything. Just plain call and sms phone. I had actually wanted to study hard and get good grades this term or the next term to get a new and nice phone. So i told him that i didn't want it because i want to work hard for a nicer phone.
Then he looked sad and was like," you don't want it ah? ok ah, i send back."
Gah. I feel so obnoxious. But wth do i do now? Accept that phone? My present phone is in working condition but only the keypad is slightly sot. I really wanted one nice phone i saw in a nokia shop so i wanted to work hard for it. But wth do i do with this phone? And what will my mum do when she hears from my dad that he gave me a phone but i didn't accept it? Doesn't that just sounds hateful and ungrateful?
I really don't know what to do now. o_o
twisting beside myself @9:19 AM