~headlock

WILKOMMEN

Thursday, April 26, 2007

u noe wat?why get ourselves so worked up over such chilidish thigs?it'll nvr end.i shall just shut up now ok.let's all just shut up.and really,there's no starting over.just living with the mistakes we've made.u guys shld start reading Jodi Picoult's books.they make u see in the shoes of almost all of the characters in the books.maybe u guys shld try to see thgs from my perspective too smtyms.just put urselves in my shoes.and pls,don't say thgs like "oh of course it's easy for u to say.coz my life isn't even half as perfect as urs." pls.it ISN'T perfect.none is."

...k.

Honestly, stop making yourself seem innocent because you're not. atifa and i aren't innocent either. and saying that whatever you said doesn't mean you think you're not innocent is total B.S. it's actually REALLY obvious that you think you're innocent. so don't go around contradicting yourself.

"the both of u start stabbing me over and over and i'm just left alone with just me myself and i on my side,coz i'm the only one here who rmbs wat i say,and wat i mean."

see what i mean.

fine. it wasn't right of me and atifa to go around saying things behind your back.i am personally against gossipping too, but i'm no perfect person. i avoid gossip as much as possible, so when i do, i actually DO mean big business.

but could you AT FREAKING LEAST FOR ONCE, PUT YOURSELF IN OUR SHOES?

you're always so caught up with what YOU feel and not what ANYBODY ELSE AROUNDS YOU FEEL.

if you did care about what atifa and i felt, then why did you totally and completely ditch atifa during the first month of school? what's the excuse now? us misinterpreting you? that you wanted to expand your friendship horizon [or whatever that phrase is] and make new friends?

fine, fine. i get it. but what the hell was disappearing when atifa waited for you during recess all about? if you wanted to make new friends so much, why didn't you just tell atifa in a nice way, so that at least we would have KNOWN ? think i don't feel for her is it? as a matter of fact, unlike you, i do. i can tolerate certain things but one thing i am most PANTANG about is DITCHING FRIENDS WHEN YOU'VE MADE NEW ONES.

then what about the letterS? fine, thanks, i appreciate your effort of at least trying to communicate with us in a way. that was really quite nice of you. but don't you think it hurts OUR feelings when we put in so much effort to write the letter and get a stupid reply which totally reeks of your indifference?[eg:me talking a HELL lot in the letter, like 2 or 3 pages, and your reply filling up only one page going all LOL or HAHA REALLY that kind of thing, you don't even say anything else.] didn't ever occur to you, did it? i might be a bit sensitive when it comes to this, but honestly, it's THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE.

and what you said that day, maybe i didn't take offense so much but atifa did. you could have at least put yourself in my shoes before saying that. cutting was stupid,i agree.

if you think about it now, we only fought because of what you tagged,one pathetic tag. and worst of all it was about gaspard ulliel-totally irrelevant to our friendship. but WHAT you said, the WAY you said it, wow. like i said, it's the little things that make a big difference.and btw, atifa and i are BOTH the kinds of people that bottle things up before letting it really come out once a stupid event triggers it, and in our case, it was your tag. i'm sorry, it is an unhealthy thing to do but we all have our share of imperfections. like you said yourself. nobody is perfect and nobody's lives are perfect.

and what sweeping fallacy? what cheemness are you trying to use to prove your innocence now?i learn literature too, but i don't use something which really doesn't make any sense or logic in this case.

another thing. are you saying i'm wrong and that i haven't completely gotten through the phase you went through in sec 1, and therefore i am stupid?well sorry ah babe, i'm like this. i'm a very obsessive person if you knew me better, and which you obviously don't[and probably but hopefully not, you don't BOTHER to know]. when i see someone hot i'd be squealing for the moment then totally forgetting it later. i'm just like that okay? imperfections which you have to accept remember?

then now you'll ask me, why I haven't accepted YOUR imperfections. i'm used to the fact that you're laid back and not serious, i can take that. but ditching your friend? no way. if that's not being really horrible i don't know what is. i mean, you could have least told us. it wasn't so hard, and we'd understand that well, you HAVE to make new friends

THAT was written all out of anger, shahirah. i'm sorry. i guess we've resolved the situation already, no? i'd just want you to know that you are special and that i never would want to lose someone like you. :D

anyway. i'm supposed to be studying history and bio now, and i'm dead. english and SS was a bitch, but surprisingly english compre was pretty easy [:

okay let's not get all complacent and start being melodramatic when the results suck saying things like 'oh my God i'm going to kill myself coz i flunk' or bullshit like that

i just hope i can get at least majority of Bs and Cs and [hopefully] no fails for this stupid exam. thank you negative energy and negative feelings and slackerness for making me this way. and i swear depan Al Quran i don't know where i got that slackerness from, seems that i've lost all my kiasuness this year. but then again, i don't want to be a minah so i'm tryina tell myself to snap out of it.

bullshit laziness. honestly orh. sleeping like until 5am the next morning IMMEDIATELY when i come home from school. can fucking die or what sial. pfft.

okay i'm sounding like a stupid minah cum ah lian come act ang mor bodowh in this post, i might as well go away now. goodbye world.

ps:you know, i dreamt that i went to another planet and dyed my whole head red this morning, from 6am to 6.30 HAHA then when i woke up my hair was the blackest black it had ever been. -_-

my momma said i can highlight one strand of my fringe pink for hari raya. wooo

oh shit someone's ringing the bell BYE

twisting beside myself @10:45 PM

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