WILKOMMEN
:3
Bill Kaulitz is teh seks. <3
I also wish for world peace, end of poverty,happiness and justice for everyone. :]
i'm addicted to this song. o_o so chantik.
you know,i think i suck in every aspect of life. and no, this is not my typical self-depreciating emo post. it's a fact.
and i realise that i have these tendencies to space out during classes and when the teacher is talking for the past few days, i swear i don't know where it came from considering i like to pay attention to teachers.
and when i had to read SS for something today i had to read it over and over again, because i had that space out thing in my head. it's like, i understood what was in the textbook, but it couldn't register. i don't know if that means
(a)i'm overly stressed
(b)i'm giving excuses not to study because i'm a lazy bodoh
(c)i'm going crazy
possibly all three. -_-
worst part was after sleeping, i thought i would be more alert but it was made worse. :D
i still have it now, by the way. the mental space out thing. it's annoying.
and i have 21 days to the exams and 9 subjects to cover. this whole year was wasted being emo and getting hurt by the smallest things. i wish i could just restart this whole year, so it wouldn't turn out this way. i've asked my parents if i could stay back for sec 3 again, and they said
"NO."
awesome. now i suck in everything i do and i might as well drop history because i don't get a shit what the textbook says (cheemology, nadiah is dumb) and my bio and chem sucks and that despite having tuition for the latter and i've neglected lit severely and i'm just not sure if i can get good marks for SS because i suck in that too and my languages suck too and the ONLY thing i can hope for is amaths and emaths to get an A.
and even then, the highest i can possibly achieve is A2 for both.
i think i'm going nuts.
---------
on a lighter note, though, i lost weight. yay. nothing much, 2 point something kg, but hey, big deal you know. i hope it will just go all the way down and not have the stupid yoyo effect.
you know what, i just missed my evening prayers. shit. bye.
twisting beside myself @8:21 PM
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
HAHAHAHA. WATCH THAT VID. i swear to GOD! trust atifa to put up the most hilarious videos in her blog. hehehouhaouhaouhoaihoiahaiohaha XD -_-
i'm not supposed to be blogging now, but i am. rebellious much. -_-
honestly. i'm not supposed to even touch the comp. it's 12.17am, my thousands of homework are still undone, and don't even get me started on studying.
which reminds me.
exams are freaking 23 days away. (considering it's 12am now, so it's a new day, so hurray. -_-)
tell me, who's the stupid babi hutan who decided that the o's should be earlier? kindly shoot yourself.
:D
-_________________-"
(is it me or is my post filled with tao faces? hehe, tao. tangent=opposite/adjacent YAY)
ok bb.
twisting beside myself @12:20 AM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
oh man. i haven't blogged in ages. haha. life is shit. as usual. )=
but this week was especially....well, bipolar. no offense to anyone. that's the only word that comes to my head.
got back some results, many devastating. and i'm pissed at teachers who promise to give us back our papers the next day but disappear for the next two days. -_- oh well. i won't be a selfish arse, maybe she had issues. HAHA. issues. HAHAHA. right. -_-.
reason[s] why this week was bipolar:
1) MOL/DMCUBE -_- if you get what i mean. haha. what is the short form of bloody mole per dm cube? hahahhaha. yes, you know what i mean. at least, some of you do. -_-
so, mol per dm cube was damn nice to me except yesterday, i don't know what happened. it made me depressed okay.
2) results=good/bad, mostly bad, thus i cry one minute and laugh the next. -_-
like, bloody freaking crazy i tell you.
and my mother just HAD to make it worse yesterday. obviously when someone is moody, you keep your distance right, but NO! she just HAD to pester me and keep asking why i looked moody (reason was mol/dm cube).
i mean, i know asking means you give a damn, but when people are pissed or annoyed, it's better to keep your distance. and i'm so sick of
" WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE ME? WHEN I WAS A STUDENT FIRST THING I'D DO IS TELL MY PARENTS EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH"
whatever. just what-freaking-ever you know. oh, so i'm expected to be EXACTLY like you now?Maybe NOW some of you know why i can't seem to accept anything, including myself.
and when i fight back, i'm the extremely bad daughter who rebels in every way possible, including self-mutilation and mol per dm cube, yup. and i hurt their feelings because they have tried to be great parents but i am not trying to be a good daughter. yup.and why can't they have their 'sunshine girl back' (yes, i was a freaking smiley asshole when i was a baby.) like last time. because obviously she has enough bloody SANITY to smile. she isn't fat, in fact she's gorgeous. she's a straight-A student. she's extremely perfect. yup. so why can't she be a happy smiley bouncy freak?
wait, wait. i thought people who were ALWAYS HAPPY are INSANE? what are you trying to get at?
i swear to God i was so pissed and emo and God knows what else yesterday, i had simply NO mood to attend zany parade today. i was supposed to be a bloody vampire. ): now i have two things to worry about.
1) mol per dm cube
2)how my classmates will react to me not coming. according to my mother i am of no significance in their lives, so i shouldn't worry. but i can feel it coming.
and it doesn't help when the 10000000000 people you messaged on your phone, don't even BOTHER to reply. it's okay, i know your excuse.
'i don't know what/how to reply.'
fine then. when YOU'RE facing a crisis like me, then i won't care. i think i give up caring. it's too hard.
and if mol per dm cube knows, i'm as good as dead. goodbye to you. life is beautiful.
twisting beside myself @6:39 PM
Saturday, August 04, 2007
hmm.
current feeling:
I get over heels for someone
That I really can't deal with
I want to block her out my mind
But I really can't do it
I tell myself this the last time
I'ma let her do this to me
Whenever we do spend time
I realize that I can't get enough of you
Who i am currently:
I wear scarves and hoods'
Cause it's the only poker face that I've got left
And everything I love about you is a mess
Smash the mirror and break the palm reader's hand
I want to be better than I am
who i SEEM to be currently:
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
I'm the inside of "I don't care"
Right in the middle
I'm right in the middle
.
.
.
Be my unholy
My one and my lonely
):
twisting beside myself @9:42 PM
tips
aishah
ida
bibah
aputiky
shivani
lisha
kapoor
nadia lamri
charis
heeqmah
ain
natalie
hanis
shahrin
CAMBODIA Fatihah
'
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