I also wish for world peace, end of poverty,happiness and justice for everyone. :]
Sunday, October 28, 2007
OKAY EVERYBODY, IT IS OFFICIALLY SUNDAY NIGHT, AND NADIAH BEING THE LAZY PROCASTINATING FAT LARD WILL START STUDYING.
SOON. ANYTIME NOW.
=D
-__-
things i have to do by tomorrow (haha as if, but i'll try whatever i can. stupid last minute things):
-do tuition homework -read through bio SPA experiment on diffusion/osmosis, TYS Qs about it,facts about it -memorise things in the part above -flip through peribahasa -read malay school file -read tuition file
TADADADADADADADADADADADADA. :D
i haven't started. balls to friday night and its impact on my emotions, leading to its impact on my studies.
and my parents haven't signed the form still. HAHAHA. WOOOO. I KNOW I'M AN EMBARRASSMENT TO YOU, DON'T YOU THINK SO TOO??
:D :D :D
-______-
ok shut up nadiah, go study.
yes. anytime now, i will get my butt of this chair, and study.
.. .. .
-_______________________________________-
BYE I WILL GO NOW.
[ps: today and yesterday, i have been suffering from severe flatulence. must be stress.HAHAHA.]
twisting beside myself @8:46 PM
Saturday, October 27, 2007
what is it with self-indulgent people, who think that the world revolves around them or at least EXPECT it to, who crave for so much attention, who expect you to solve their problems when they are just adding to yours?
what is it with stupid pranksters who have no life and nothing better to do, raising your hopes of them when they're just faking every single second of it?
what is it with parents who expect so much from you, who don't want to sign your form just because it's 'embarrassing'?
and what's with me and all my emo posts? i'm supposed to be happy aren't i? don't you think i'm happy?
what's the logic in all that, you tell me?
twisting beside myself @6:00 AM
Monday, October 22, 2007
'Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."
I have one default mood now, and that would be hopelessness and despondency.
if i had nothing but time on my hands, i think i would change myself for the better.
but i don't.
there are two options now; a) give up and run away from the truth and become an escapist and eventually, a loser in life or b) pick myself and all these pieces up, let time heal these wounds and make it all better, and surge forward without looking back
of course, me, being me, i'd go with A anytime. but that'll just add to the pain and sooner or later i'll have to resort to B. there's so much to do, so little time. will i be able to summon up enough strength and willpower to go ahead? or do i just start all over, seeing that i'm in such a mess?
i might just be lazy. but more than anything, i feel hopeless.
twisting beside myself @5:19 PM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
okay, this may seem sudden and quick and random, but i think i know why i can feel the fictional pain.
it's because i can relate to it very,very, very well.
unrequitted [sp?] love and unreturned feelings suck.
especially when you know it can't be returned as it is wrong, and you'd be damned for eternity in the after life.
ahhh. pain's creeping in again.
twisting beside myself @10:26 PM
hmmmzzzzz, is it possible to feel pain when fictional pain (story book) is described very very vividly? =O
i just read the emo part of new moon today, and i swear i felt the same way just now. poor bella >=O
ok then, back to reading. i honestly read very slowly, and it irritates me. but i have to carry on reading. goodbye!
four more days left to fast YAYIEE. okay, that was irrelevant and random. goodbye, for the second and last time.
but i'm not whining. i can't whine. it's all my fault, my lack of time management, self-discipline, focus, blah blah blah.
i've heard that one before.
but there's a new one to all that: i've completely wasted 9 years of my life. (pri 1-5, sec 1-3. at least i mugged during p6)
next year, it's either make it or break it.
yeah, yeah, you tell me. YOU'VE heard that one before too.
to tell you the truth, so have i. i remember around this time of the year last year, or later (seeing that some shits decided to push the O's earlier this year, and inevitably our exams) i was saying exactly the same thing, knowing my year was shit and there was always hope for the next.
only to be disappointed.
again.
but you know what?
ENOUGH.
i'm tired of feeling stupid. i'm tired of thinking that people think i'm stupid. i'm tired of dwelling on the negatives all the time. i'm tired of inferiority complexes. i'm tired of my parents telling me daily of how completely wasted my 'potential' (have to put it in inverted commas as it has YET to be seen) is. i'm tired of my parents telling me daily of how useless i am, or how no self-respecting child of two doctors' can bring home such shit-ass results. i'm tired of feeling hopeless. i'm tired of feeling depressed. i'm tired of my heart sinking whenever i get my papers. yes, you say. 'how can you feel pain when it's all you've ever felt?' i haven't gotten THAT jaded. i still have feelings, hopes, dreams, wishes and thoughts about my future. i'm tired of letting it all get crushed to FUCKING MINUTE-SIZED PIECES BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO SUCCUMB AND RELAPSE INTO STUPID FREAKING TEMPTATIONS OF BEING LAZY.
enough, you idiot. enough. i'm tired of all this under-performing.
oops, i'm sorry. didn't i just say i can't whine?
-_-
next year man. next year i'll show them. next year i'd want to see envy, but this time, it won't be coming from me, it'll be coming from the people around me.
obnoxious, you say? well i'm no angel. if i can't do it because i lack conviction, then revenge is the only way.
but then again, as i'm saying all this, i can't help but feel discouraged. what makes me think that i can get off my friggin lazy ass to study during the holidays? what do i do daily? must i make my own timetable? what about a study plan? what do i do then? ten-year-series? make notes? how the HELL do i pass some subjects which i've NEVER passed this year before? what do i do now?
i guess it's time i took control of my life. lack of it just makes me suicidal. but the point is, next year people. next year. this year was shit. next year hopefully, with the help of GOD of course, things would be different.
and if i started early, which is now, then slowly and maybe surely, everything will fall right into place.
HEHAHEHAHEHAHEHAHEHAHEHAHEHA. sorry! just can't help doing another one! ^_^ so random.
anyway, referring to the online person question, i think aishah knows what i mean ;D
twisting beside myself @11:47 PM
hellow, i am pissed off right now because today i fasted to pay back my 6-day fasting thinger and then saw brown then thought it was okay then i just got it. again.
meaning my plans to fast 6 days in a row can't be carried out and the one day i paid back isn't counted, although mum said it was 'ok since i didn't know anyway'. whadda heck. annoying thing.
today was yet again, bland. wore the other kebaya i bought, went to grandfather's grave and there was a traffic jam at the cemetery [?] and then went to uncles' houses and blah. finished.
you know what? the funny thing is, when you're fasting during fasting month, you REALLY think about food, but when you fast after that it's like meh whatever. food only crossed my mind like 20 times today. [yes, usually it crosses my mind more than ten times of that when i'm fasting. hehahehah. improvement.]
and this post is another stupid post which you just wasted 5 minutes of you life reading, so i'm going to be interesting and insert something interesting
so, it's 6.18pm and hari raya is officially declared over for me [:
visited three houses, a record. for the least number of houses, that is.
all in all, it was an okay day.very bland.
twisting beside myself @6:28 PM
don't mind the post below. it's just that, it sucks when you talk to people and they ignore you or pretend not to hear you or don't take the effort to try and listen to your crap talk.
it sucks when you feel left out.
it sucks when people are prejudiced against you for some stupid shallow reason.
this has been going on for a very long time now. in fact, since i was young.
it's all a one-way traffic.
one-way traffics SUCK.
so now, since i realise that my bouncy crazy enthusiasm turns you off, and my moodswings are weird and out of the norm and therefore untolerable, and that my fussiness over you just to prove that i give a freaking shit is being annoying, fine then.
it's too tiring to give a damn for people who don't.
i'm seriously worn out of unreturned feelings.
so, as of now, i officially declare that i do NOT care. at least, not as much as i used to.
always remember, if you don't like how someone is treating you, don't do it to others. it's just disgusting. shows a lot about you. eww.
----
so anyways, results were um. yeah. like that.
english was shocking. i sucked in compre, did pretty well in summary, did average in report writing, did unexpectedly well for compo, and did average in oral.
overall average marks, almost an A. meh.
amaths was okay, just that i didn't get the logic of the teachers giving me 2 marks out of 8 for this particular question on partial fractions when my answer was exactly the same as the marking scheme.
if they add 6 more marks, i'd be able to barely scrape past an A. hmm.
two almost As seems good enough, but...
chem. the whole cohort did badly, so it was fine when i did badly too. ok well, not really. but i'm happy to know i'm not the worst.
the funny thing is that, when i got back my paper, i didn't feel any pain. perhaps it was because of all the anticipation and mental preparation of the worst to come. yes, i failed badly and i didn't feel any pain.
"How can you feel any pain when it's all you ever felt?" -an emo phrase i got somewhere
hmm. there's always next year. but sometimes the future seems bleak.
----
raya's tomorrow. and i don't feel like it. i can't bare to face the
"oh! so you're sec 3? how was your results? must be good right? *gives a smile which i perceive as sinister*"
"wah! so tall ah! last time, like this *puts hand at waist level*"
"you look more and more like your mother" <-balls to that
and all the other endless makcik/annoying relatives' antics
---
twisting beside myself @12:36 AM
Friday, October 12, 2007
sometimes i wonder if i am nice to people for fear of them rejecting me, or because i'm masochistic.
either way, it sucks when it's all a one-sided thing.
this is general, by the way.
chem and amaths and english tomorrow. D'day.
twisting beside myself @1:28 AM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
geez, talk about coincidence and androgynous haircuts.
i swear i nearly got a heart attack (in every sense of the phrase) in school today.
twisting beside myself @12:08 AM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
ANNIE LENNOX IS HOT!
hehahehaha. i love the androgynous [sp?] look ^.^
=]
if i lose weight i want to cut my hair in the androgynous-y way =D
was thinking rihanna-ish, then i went to geylang's first lady with my mum and maid and thousands of minahs had it on. hmm.
lose the weight first.
hmmm.
i'm dying at home, but i CAN wait for the dismal results.
5 days to hari raya, and the festive mood isn't there at all.
maybe because there isn't going to be a proper raya for me. bro's having the O's and we're only visiting one or two houses on the first day.
haha.
hahahahahha.
(i'm leaving lines to give the illusion that this post is actually long.)
(also to entertain myself.)
(hahahaha.)
-_-.
girly mahnnnnnnnnnnnn.
i think i better go bathe now. BYE =D
twisting beside myself @2:37 PM
Sunday, October 07, 2007
*tooth fairy impostor says: tell her jog now got more bangla horny
=O
...k nvm. hahehouhoaha. anyway,
this, my friend, is hot stuff
this one also =D
twisting beside myself @11:20 PM
Friday, October 05, 2007
You Are Expressionism
Moody, emotional, and even a bit angsty... you certainly know how to express your emotions. At times, you tend to lack perspective on your life, probably as a result of looking inward too much. This introspection does give you a flair for the dramatic. And it's even maybe made you cultivate some artistic talents! You have a true artist's temperament... which is a blessing and a curse.
You are a very abstract learner. You can grasp even the most complex theories. You Should Study: Astronomy Biology Chemistry Computer Science Linguistics Mathematics Philosophy Physics Psychology
You are spiritual, intuitive, and serene. People trust you to rescue them from bad situations, and you usually come through. While you are quite enlightened, you find that your path is very lonely. When you are too violet: you can't connect to ordinary life or ordinary people When you don't have enough violet: you lack wisdom and can't learn from the past
Crafty and creative, you are able to adapt freely to almost any situation. People tend to underestimate you, unless they've truly seen what you are capable of. Deep down, you're always scheming and thinking up new plans. Your mind is constantly active. You are quite capable of anything you dream of. You can always figure out a way to get what you want. You can wrap a rock person up in your sheet of trickery. A scissor person can sneak up and cut you to pieces. When you fight: No one can anticipate your next move If someone makes you mad: You'll attack them mercilessly when they're unprepared
my cat freaking gave birth to 5 kittens yesterday!
o_O. so what happened was, i was reading a book in my room, then my maid comes running inside and being excited like a frenzied fangirl before telling me
"NADIAH! GIRGIRL DAH BERANAK!!! CEPAT CEPAT!"
so i leaped off the bed and ran to the gym with her. and true, enough, i saw my cat and those kittens in one corner. what was weird and perhaps, rather gross, was that it was so watery. there was only a little bit of blood at her tail. i wonder why.
so at first i thought there were only 3, then when my brother joined us and my maid called my mum, two more popped out of nowhere :O
two are black-ish and two are white and one is the colour of my other kitten, who also turned 5 months yesterday.
meaning, this cat of mine gave birth to 6 kittens in total. what a powerful ___________ uh nevermind heha.
and this 5-month old kitten of mine looked so jealous )= she has siblings already
ah well. we're not keeping them anyway. we're selling them. kittens anyone?
twisting beside myself @10:31 AM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
You Could Definitely Be a Vampire
Immortality, staying pretty forever, not having to get a job... you could definitely eat some flesh for these things. It's not that you're a murderer by nature. In fact, you're probably the furthest thing from it. However, if you woke up a vampire, you'd certainly be able to adapt and enjoy your new lifestyle. There might not be much better than living forever, even if it means giving up your soul. What you would like best about being a vampire: Being a total outsider What you would like least about being a vampire: Other vampires
You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy
When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know. From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.
heha whatever. stupid blunt quiz. more like, inferiority complex. go and die lah.
You Are 44% Weirdo
You're definitely quite strange, but you can act like a normal person when you have to. (But just because you can act normally, it certainly doesn't mean you want to!) You have normal aspects to your personality... but you usually don't choose to emphasize them.
You are so very psychic. But you already predicted that, didn't you? You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others. You're very tapped into the world around you... Just make sure to use your powers for good!
Name : nadiah Birthdate : 10 days before Christmas '92 Current Status : offline haha <-HAHA YEAH ME TOO
Eye colour : red
Hair colour : it fluctuates, you know
LAYER 2 : On the inside Heritage : pakistan+indian+arab+indonesian+a bit of malay+a bit of chinese+a liiiiiiiiiitle bit of. dutch.haha. seriously. Fears : too many to write Weaknesses: selamba faces, M's antics, chocolates, and inferiority complex My perfect pizza : nice toppings! with cheese too.
LAYER 3 : Yesterday, today, tomorrow First thought of waking up : 'time to eat' Bedtime : since there's no school for a week now, it's 1am-5am, then 6am-11am. heha Most missed memories : nufink.perhaps not being so stressed.
LAYER 4 : Pick Pepsi or Coke : coooooooke. Mcdonalds or Burger King : mcdonalds Single or group dates : single Adidas or Nike : i don't..care? i'm really not an adidas nike person. Tea or Nestea : teh susu :D Vanilla or chocolate : CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATEEEE Cappucino or coffee : BOTH
LAYER 5 : Do you? Smoke : yes, and the worse part is that it's not even ME smoking, it's somebody else -_- go read the bio textbook about smoking hmm hmm Curse : hehaheha yuhhhh Take a shower : yes, but the gross part of it is, i take showers on the average of 1.5times a day o_o Have a crush : mmmhmmmm Go to school : not for a week Believe in yourself : self-belief fluctuates
LAYER 6 : Past Drink alcohol : nah Gone to the mall : duh Been onstage : haha, yeah. Dyed your hair : a couple 'o times.
LAYER 7 : Have you ever? Played a stripping game : the only thing i strip are the torn plastic wrapping things from my textbooks because they hang around annoyingly. i strip them like shittt Change who you were to fit in : i THOUGHT of that. now i realise how retarded it is. why should i change who i am just to please people? it's dumb.this is who i am. like me or not, i don't care. all i know is i've got a couple of friends who accept me for who i am, and that's enough for me already.
but i'm also pretty misanthropic [sp?] so i don't go around socialising that much. hmm.
LAYER 8 : Are you hoping... To get married : i don't know, and i honestly am trying my best not to care
LAYER 9 : In a guy ... Best eye colour : i'm not really for the looks, more for the personality. anyway i love blue eyes. they're so. pretty. :D Best hair colour : blonde hair's interesting. Long hair or short hair : i like both, depends on how the guy looks like with it ah.
LAYER 10 : What were you doing ... A minute ago : typing out the stuff above. An hour ago : planning out what to mug for the hols. and i'm not hardworking, just catching up with EVERYTHING i've missed this whole year A month ago : worrying about the exams A year ago : studying for the exams. they were later last year as compared to this year
LAYER 11 : Finish the sentences ... I love: indescribable things and people I hate : people with herd mentality who give you the 'o.O' look just because you're not like one of them (stereotype handwriting). there are thousands of people like that in our school. I hide : very little things. i don't know, i think i'm just a very obvious person who obviously expresses her obvious problems, unlike other people who put up a show. i really am so obvious. I miss : drinking. I need : to get back to studying now so i can at least tell my mother later that i've done some things.
LAYER 12 : Tag 5 ... -nadia lamri -shahirah -lisha -anyone else who wants to do
twisting beside myself @3:46 PM
HAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHAHA EWWWWWWWWWW. you know, actually i cheated. i got the first fact then i went back because i didn't like the colour that i chose, and also because i didn't understand the first fact. -_-
keep tom cruise warm at night, haha, what a joke. maybe because somebody hunted me down and used my layer of fats for his blanket(insulation) or something -_-
blogging laterrr. (: have to study first.
yes, study. study. exams are over but not the O's, and i have loads of things to catch up with. meh.
oh by the way ML o'level is next month. 12th nov, if i'm not mistaken. paper 1.
dolores looks so pretty and i love the way she dances. laughed like shit. hehaheha.
jogging now, at 10pm. hoho. whatever. bye.
twisting beside myself @9:53 PM
hurray! new blogskin. wanted to change to xanga but tried and it was too complicated.
so anyways, one of the boxes on the top right hand corner is gay, so that's why i had to put the tagboard and archives together with the links.
doesn't look half bad, though.
tell me if anything is wrong with this blogskin.
and i'm blogging later.
goodbye.
twisting beside myself @3:37 PM
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
List 12 people and answer the questions! [random names]
1) the mayat that 'banguned' in hml compre o_O 2) tipa! 3) bibah! 4) aishah 5) ida 6) maryam 7) ms yong[?] 8) M 9) kapoor 10) shahiylia 11) diyana 12) azura
1. Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 11? HEHAHEHAHE. i think... i don't know. 11?
2. Do you think 4 is hot? hehehehe yeah :D
3. 12 sends 8 on a mission. What will it be? HAHA TO HAVE M STARE AT HER IN SHOCK WHILE SHE LAUGHS LIKE NOONE'S BUSINESS HEHAHEHAH
4. What is or would be 9's favorite book? entah
5. Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way round? *checks dictionary.com for meaning of fealty* HAHAHA NEITHER SIAK
6. For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should (s)he share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10? haha can lah. but they have to get used to 5 (king trident) 's seriousness. HEEHAW
7. 2, 7, and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss? HAHAHAH WHAT A WEIRD THREESOME. but believable. prolly doing bio.
8. 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens? one would be bouncing and one would be stoning hehe
9. If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would (s)he get it back? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHEHEHAHEHOUHEHEHAHHWHWHAHA HEHHEHOUHOUHA.I think M would just go up to number one and ask nicely, despite one being uh.. yeah. HEHEH.
10. Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire. 'Laughter And Biology'. right at your face mannn
11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together? well, they'd have to co-exist, coz one of them isn't actually living, and the other is too serious and prolly freaked out. in my story, i'd probably say that 4 is so serious she becomes crazy and resorts to bringing the dead back to life, and then they have revenge and kill all the people 4 hates, heehehehaw
-_-
12. If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along? i don't know! probably laugh at all her cute antics.
13. If you could command 8 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be? :D
14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11? HAHA!uh.. i think o_o
15. If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be? none i think! coz 4 and 5 have too many similarities to start a conflict in the first place, and if 2 ever fights with em i'd be the peacekeeping kepo.haha.
16. What might 10 shout while charging into battle? 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'
17. If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose? :D
18. 1, 6, and 10 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. 6 and 10 would be too fascinated by 1 hehehohumhahe
19. What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10? haha i don't know.
20. What would 5 most likely be arrested for? being so.. serious. eh really you know. like you can be this person wearing a long-sleeved shirt and having a tote bag in a shopping center, then people think you look suspicious because of how serious your face is. mmm.
21. What is 6's secret? i don't know o_o wait maybe i do know one but i'm obviously not about to publish it for the whole world to see. dumb quiz
22. If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first? i don't know. probably the same time.
23. What would 1 most likely give to 7 on his/her birthday? HAHAHHEHEHEHOUHHAHAHHAHAHA WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT 1? YOU MAKE ME LAUGH TO MYSELF LIKE AN IDIOT
probably a bag of blood to see which blood type it is -_-
24. "1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that 11 is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5, they seek out 3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?
Translation: HML mayat and Kapoor team up to save the world from the threat posed by aishah's(:O) sinister secret organization. Diyana volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that she is actually a spy for aishah.Meanwhile, Aishah kidnapped Azura in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of ida (king trident mah), they seek out bibah, who gives them what they need to complete their quest.
title i would give it: Merepek.
------------------
You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
You are kind, popular, and generous. You tend to be successful at anything you try. A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.
You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.
heha merepek. 'social butterfly', go and die. ey, that rhymes. hoho.
You Are 70% Jealous
You're a pretty jealous person, and you've started to let it really effect your life. While it's natural to feel a little envious of what people have, it's never healthy to take it to these extremes. Focus on what you've got going on. And improve on the things you don't like. Being truly happy with yourself is the only way to chase out the green eyed monster!
You're not over the top dramatic, but you have your moments. You know how to steal the spotlight... And how to act out to get your way.
People around you know that you're good for a laugh. But at times, your drama gets a bit too much for everyone. Tone it down a tad, and you'll still be the center of attention.