~headlock

WILKOMMEN

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

my God.

it's like a freaking new year already.

and i'm not going to come up with any more new year resolutions, because the novelty wears off within three days. tops. :D

-_-

yes i lack discipline. happy?

and i'm not going to fake optimism and wish you good luck and stuff, because

1)technically, 'good luck' is in God's hands.

2) see, i cannot imagine a year of more (attempts of) slogging, trying to lose weight, etc.

and i'm bloody sec 4. sec freaking four, damn freaking IT.

i feel like i don't qualify for that term. because i'm not mentally prepared, physically prepared (haha if i go like this to prom night i might as well jump down some 22-storey building), and most importantly (cos it affects me the most) EMOTIONALLY prepared.

tsk....... but what can i do. i might as well stop giving excuses and live with it.

so, instead of wishing y'all good luck, all i can say is:

i HOPE AND PRAY that you're prepared for whatever comes, and whatever DOES come, just be strong enough to accept it.

and whatever DOESN'T come, well, it's all in God's hands.

all in God's hands.

):

just now at the dinner table we were discussing something along the lines of how sometimes we pray so hard and don't get what we want, then my dad said something like,"but it's okay, God always has a plan for you."

and it got me thinking you know. if YOU don't have a plan, will GOD still then have a plan?

or does God want to see us put in effort first instead of seeing each one of us wasting our lives away?

but then, will he STILL have a plan?

i don't know. and i doubt i will know. i can only try and pray. i say again, it's in God's hands.

but i cannot find any motivation. not even the damn sadistic letter from school.

ah, stop giving excuses okay. we'll all try. and we'll make this work throughout the year. no more wasting our potentials, wasting our lives away. especially not next year.

(you know i'm saying all this to motivate myself and you, but honestly it doesn't work most of the time. and now is included.)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STOP IT! STOP THIS STOP THIS STOP THIS STOP THIS

if i want to do well, STUDY HARD AND DON'T WASTE TIME OR PROCRASTINATE.

if i want to lose weight, CONTROL MY APPETITE AND EXERCISE

and if i am not willing to do those things mentioned above, i'll have to accept myself.

which is not an option currently. (:

okay whatever lah. have a nice year. pfft.

or tragic year. depends on however you view it.

twisting beside myself @5:16 PM

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