~headlock

WILKOMMEN

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Today started off fairly well.

On my way to school, i saw a very familiar car, and then i saw a very familiar face(haha) look at me from inside the car. Jo's mum gave me a lift to school.

Before assembly, i met bibah, who looked really sad.

After assembly i walked to someone at the back of my row, seeing i'm not on good terms with someone standing near me.

During maths i was totally focusing, so much that i didn't realise someone had broke one of her stationaries because of anger management issues. And she was glaring at me as well , which i really didn't realise.

History was next. The relief teacher made an attempt to teach. But it was obvious not many were listening. I was also talking to Kapoor.

I was quite calm during malay as well. I was actually quite proud of myself for scoring in this part of a test paper which i usually never do well in.

And then, there was recess.

Slacked in the NP room with Serious and Tips. The rest of the squad came not much later. Talked outside the NP room.We were quite unhappy with some changes that had taken place after we had the Passing Out Parade.

And then, there was Bio.

Sam, who was in my banded bio class, told me certain people had lost their composure during
recess. Shah told me other shocking things about certain people as well.

Well truth be told, my hands were really cold after that. I was panicking. I decided to make things clear by writing a note, which i thought would salvage the situation.

And, as expected, it didn't.

During english i was being screamed at by someone who isn't my teacher, and in front of the whole class at that. Things just started spinning out of control from then on.

It was all confusion, misunderstanding, and tears.

And the teacher, who was confused about the whole thing herself, tried hearing both sides of the story.

It took the whole english period. I apologised to my teacher for wasting her time.

Chem,cried till my eyes were swollen.

Do you really want to know what it's like being hurt? It accumulates like fats, and i'm sorry for the lack of good analogies. It happens everyday. And those doing it to you, they don't realise it. I don't really take note of when i eat chocolates and when i don't.

Like fats, it's my fault for me not losing weight. Similarly, it's my fault for not saying it on the spot. I guess i should really reconsider the way i bottle up feelings. But that doesn't make anybody else less wrong.

Look here, i feel as cheated as you do, ok?

Why is it that many people i run into get angry/pissed at me whenever i do things, and refuse to look into their own faults?Is it an ego problem? Human nature perhaps? Why must I always be the one running around, fussing, making sure things are alright? I'm sick of doing it. I have my own pride too. And this is the last straw.

So, my initial plans of just being civil have backfired. Most of these kinds of confrontations just backfire eventually.

I think i've made some mistakes, but i'm not the one totally at fault here.

So anyway, that formed the gist of the day. Nothing much happened after that, save for maybe those throbbing headaches you get if you think too deeply about something, and swollen eyes which still hurt.

And thanks to some of my classmates. I really appreciate it.

I just took three of those panadol-like pills, the ones i took excessively before my Malay O'levels. Just an amusing memory. I unknowingly could've killed myself that day.

twisting beside myself @6:13 PM

blog

tag

links