I also wish for world peace, end of poverty,happiness and justice for everyone. :]
Monday, November 17, 2008
I find it really tragic when people who don't even know how much they mean to you make an assumption based on a warped misunderstanding, and decide to remove themselves from your life.
I'm hoping for the best, but if it comes true, it's going to be pretty empty.
Anyway, on a lighter note, prom was two days ago! I couldn't update yesterday because gym wore me out. It wore me out today as well, which is why i'm using what little energy i have left to update.
Lol i'm chatting with my older brother on msn now, and just now he went off for lunch for a while, so his good friend and room mate, sam, took over:
-[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: naz is lunching -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: sam here -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: hahahaha -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: he(bill) isnt gd looking ! are you aware of how goddamned pretty you are? says: lol! hello -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: i thought it was a girl -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: a manly girl -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: ughghgh -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: like those u see in the changi village thingy in spore <-(HAHAHA WHUTTT. don't know how he knows it, he's malaysian) -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: hahah are you aware of how goddamned pretty you are? says: ..... are you aware of how goddamned pretty you are? says: k you're not the first to say he's a gay/fag/tranny are you aware of how goddamned pretty you are? says: i don't know, i have weird taste i suppose -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: cause he is are you aware of how goddamned pretty you are? says: i like feminine men and -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: thats not even feminine man are you aware of how goddamned pretty you are? says: and androgyny, in general -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: he crossed way far the line -[NaZ]- Feel the pages turn to stone. says: hahaha
Glawlz. -_-
And i honestly don't know why people think Bill sounds like a girl in Monsoon. Does he, really? I thought so at first, when my dearest friend KILLER STARE (LAWL) introduced me to the band, but after a while it sounded guyish, didn't it?
)=
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.
By the way, speaking of Bill, this is another video mocking Tokio Hotel. It's called Tokyo Motel and it's sort of a series... I find this one particularly hilarious
(What 'Bill', who's obviously a girl actress, says in the video: That's all? Sissy. Mummy! I wet my bed again!)
And i looooooooovee what she's wearing.
I feel like a zombie, to be honest. I've shut my blog out completely for the O's and now that I'm back I don't really know what to say.
Ironically, thousands of things have been running through my mind the whole of the Olevels and i was thinking of putting them down here but it seems like everytime i'm at the computer those thoughts leave me.
One thing i've noticed, though, is that when you're out of the house during the holidays, no negative or stupid thoughts creep up in your mind. Because your mind is fully occupied.
Which is why i make it a point to go out everyday. To the gym, mostly. Which wears me out and by the time i get home i can't do anything much except sleep or read books.
There have been a couple of things which make me feel down.
Firstly, i feel like an undeserving shit. Seriously, if God exchanged places with an orphan or some disabled kid i bet they'll all appreciate my life better. I feel like an ass taking so much from my parents with so little in return.
I was just looking through my college fees the other day. And believe me when i say this: they are exorbitant, not even including where i'll stay, which will add on to the cost.
I suppose i'll have to make sure every penny spent on the college is worth it (i.e, bring home great results. Which isn't impossible, my brother's doing really well in his college) .
And when i start working i'm immediately going to give my parents back a lot of money. I feel really awful. I've been given so much in life and didn't use them properly and i know i'm going to be held accountable by God for every single thing i've wasted (which actually, is everything.)
Secondly, don't mean to sound whiny. But diets get you really down. I found out today i've already lost 3 kg. Which is good but.. not enough.
Not enough, damn it.
I never realised it, but i actually think i want to be skinny. If not for health, then it's for the 98% of clothes in my closet i don't wear.
Don't worry though, i won't do anything to harm myself like being bullimic, etc. I'm not that disciplined anyway.
I'll just go through the normal, difficult way - watch what you eat and exercise. I just wish it will be really quick, i'm going abroad not very long from now and i still have (x-3)kg to lose.
Looking back, one thing that appalls me most about secondary school is, how in hell did i gain so much weight? Don't expect me to tell you how much, you'll gawk in disbelief.
I'm planning to lose a lot of weight now but it's so difficult. The time constraint (i.e, slightly more than one month), the tiring workouts and my occassional moments of weakness (when i succumb to stupid delicious chocolate.)
This is the most disciplined i've been in my secondary school life. I want to lose weight, I really do. But it's going to be hard.
Likewise, it's going to be hard to do well in my college. Mother tells me the leap from O's to A's is huge. But i can't let her down. I can't let anyone down anymore.
Which brings me to another topic - Disappointment.
But i'm too tired now, and too worn out. I suppose i've just blurted the things i've been thinking about for a while. Maybe when i have inspiration i'll blog, not when i don't know what to say and have to force something out of my head.
Goodbye, have a good and fulfilling life, everyone. Don't waste life, you'll never get the time you wasted back.