~headlock

WILKOMMEN

:3

Bill Kaulitz is teh seks. <3

I also wish for world peace, end of poverty,happiness and justice for everyone. :]

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Lol, i am sooo amused.

I went to youtube and searched for Khalid Yasin's videos, and got directed to other kinds of videos such as Muslim converts in America and the west, and after watching the videos i looked at the comments, and what'd ya know, stupid blasphemy comments.

Some guy said religion is for retards, and i replied saying he's a sad soul as he has nothing to live for and no purpose in life if he doesn't have a religion.

and in another video some person was saying as a comment how he read the Quran and think it was 'wishful thinking by Muhammad' and that 'what kind of god would want boring submission, when god actually likes freedom, enjoyment and creativity'. and the most amusing part was him stating that 'we ARE god'.

then i replied that saying something along the lines of 'we ARE god? seriously? so we created the universe, earth, mountains and oceans?' and i added something underneath that which i can't really remember.

can't stand disrespectful people like this. it's up to them if they don't want to believe it, but don't hurl unnecessary negative comments at Muslims.

anyway a few things have been making me rather upset lately.

i just don't understand what some people hope to achieve by putting others down deliberately. especially when they think it's funny, when it really isn't. it's sickening. it's repulsive.

so what do they hope to achieve? do they want to make themselves feel better by insulting everyone? are they that insecure?

do they seek pleasure by saying things like that?

or are they just so blissfully ignorant about the fact that they are hurting and offending people?

doesn't it plaque their conscience (if they have one) a tiny bit?

it seriously makes me wonder.

and i'm saying this, despite being oh i don't know, more than 2 decades younger than them.

-_-

anyway i consulted my parents about it, and they said i should assert my rights. answer back in a non-rude way (which they will obviously perceive as rude, just because i stopped them from saying any more hurtful things).

something like, "Why do you have to be so offensive all the time?"

and another thing, i'm sick of all these "oh i'm so rich and i've got a good job and so i can treat everybody like crap" kinds of people.

it's bloody vomit-inducing. i'm not very religious but i know well enough that NOTHING i have is mine, it's all from God. So why the arrogance? and why the double standards?

just because i'm not your daughter doesn't mean you can treat me like shit. i bet if one of my parents said something similar to the one that YOU love, you'd OBVIOUSLY have a go at them.

but of course, i don't belong to his perfect family, and so i'm of a low standard, and therefore it gives him the right to treat me that way.

i swear to God. the nerve of some people.

and yes, once again, i'm about 2 decades younger than this person.

i'm beginning to think age is nothing more than a number.

and all of these things made me realise something - i think i'm a pushover. i've been told before. i'm spineless and i don't know how to stand up for myself.

well not anymore. i'm done taking the shit people (like the ones i mentioned above) throw at my face and licking it. it's time to throw it back.

i'm not saying i'm going to be a bad person, or that i'm going to be rude to everyone. i won't.

but at the same time i won't let anyone say or do whatever they want to hurt me, and not retort back. it's going to take some practice but i've made my decision - i'm going to be assertive for my rights from now on to ANYONE.

because it's a sad fact of the world - show people that you're too nice, and they step all over you. i've had enough and the people i mentioned above have confirmed it for me.

twisting beside myself @5:53 PM

Sunday, July 26, 2009

i've been listening to a couple of religious lectures lately, done by a man known as Khalid Yasin. i think he's a reaaallllyyyy good speaker, not preachy but educating.

if anybody wants i can lend you the dvds.

i don't know, i guess it just struck me that my religious knowledge is very shallow, and it's certainly not something i'm proud of. i think i have even forgotten most of the prophet stories.

And i feel so torn apart. That's the best way to describe it. one minute you're watching these lectures in awe - listening to the Imam speak of the truth and give you solutions to go there, and then the next you're faced with reality and you realise it's not easy at all. i mean i obviously want to become a better Muslim but i just don't feel like i have the strength to sacrifice it all just yet.

but i'm slowly learning, i suppose. anyway a few things which i've learnt from the lectures -

1) everywhere you go, whatever you do, have fear of God. Be God-conscious. that way it will prevent you from doing bad deeds.

2) but it's not the end if you do a bad deed, you can sort of compensate for it with a good deed, and that way it will be wiped out.

3) One very good thing about Islam is that everything in it has to be done in moderation. Excessive things - money, clothes, food etc is bad for you, and therefore the best way is in moderation.

... haha okay that's all i can remember for now. shall watch more and then maybe write it here.

this sounds random but i am so not looking forward to going back to london. i just realised to make the least mistakes as possible when it comes to bitchy people in the school, or to just avoid it all, is to keep quiet. Be subdued. and that is really not what i am but i don't want anything to distract me or hurt me as it has this year. by being really introverted and keeping to myself, i think that it will be the safest way. i'm just not too thrilled at the prospect of doing that.

twisting beside myself @1:25 PM

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

You know.

For once in my life, i actually can't find something big to look forward to.

twisting beside myself @12:28 AM